dear son, we’ve been waiting for you

I’m hurting today. My heart’s beating and I just need his to beat again. I need to feel his weight in my empty arms. I find myself pleading with God, bargaining my life away in exchange for one night of life in his tiny body. Breath in the unexpanded lungs. Why can’t I just have one night? That’s all I ask.

Empty aching has blanketed my shattered remnants of what was life before loss.

I need him here with me.

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