the struggle

I’ve learned that no matter how good things are externally, there will always be an internal fight for people like me.  The wonder of the darkness is that it comes with an equivalent light. Unfortunately, it’s impossible to determine which will be dominant in our lives or for how long. You’re not alone. Advertisements

SAAM

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and I’m going to tell my story.  If you have been sexually assaulted and you need a friend, I’m just one click away.  There are many resources available and before I begin, I feel I should share a few: – RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) – National […]

if you love me, don’t let go

I can’t tell you how fucked up I am.  I can’t tell you how I cope alone. I can’t tell you that I need your help.  I can’t stand the thought of disappointing you. You know my addiction, but I can’t tell you that I relapse. I can’t let you see who I really am. […]

self care

I welcome the encouragement and support, but honestly, most of those self care lists being shared on social media are difficult for people like me to accomplish.  They seem to be written by people who clearly do not know depression like mine.  I found a realistic self care list written by the incredible Catstrus over […]

souvenirs

This shroud of unwrinkled sheets conveys critical calamity. A desolate bed is telling.  I’m sorry I have become unbearable.  I am distant, detached, and disassociating.  My internal agony annihilates again.  I was vulnerable and he was vindicated.  He left me souvenirs of sorrow and suffering.  They emerge, engulfing my fortitude. I take flight to alleviate […]

crimson liberation

The urge is potent.   It is more than an urge; it is a hunger. It is a voracious hunger to end the great famine. It is a craving to feel the icy blade skate across the skin.  It is a desire to feel the sting as it penetrates the largest organ of the human […]